we're blogging at a bar
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
