I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
