I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
