So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
