Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
