its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
