Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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