I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
