The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
