do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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