Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
