there was a trapeze. enough said
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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