you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
