she smelled like a LAN party
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
