Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
