i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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