he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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