she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
