He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
