Sry I called you an 8
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
