Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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