for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
