I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
