I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
