Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i now understand why vodka
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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