Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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