He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
