I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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