I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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