I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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