You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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