fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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