hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
