Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
