Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
