you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
