onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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