Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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