p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
