she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
