get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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