Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
