Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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