Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want nice things and good sex
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
