who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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