Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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