A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We don't watch enough power rangers
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
