I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
