Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
