? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
